There comes a point in a woman’s life when she sees a belief that has been shaping (or stopping her) from being authentic, and leading with power, for years…

For many of us, that belief sounds like this:

To be successful, I need to be liked.

To be safe, I need approval.

To lead, I should not upset anyone.

This belief does not start in the mind. It starts in the body. It comes from years of learning that acceptance keeps us safe. Approval keeps us protected. Belonging keeps us alive.

So we shape ourselves to be easy to like…

We soften our edges.

We avoid standing out.

We hide our truth.

We try to be agreeable and safe.

I lived this way for a long time. It felt normal. It felt smart. It felt safe.

But at some point, something inside us wakes up. A deeper truth rises. A pattern becomes clear.

For me, that truth was simple:

Trying to be liked is stopping us from leading.

The Belief That Stops Women From Leading

Most women learn early on that being liked is the safest path.

We learn to make ourselves easy to accept.

This belief becomes a quiet rule inside the body.

It shapes how we speak.

It shapes how we show up.

It shapes how much truth we allow ourselves to share.

But this rule has a cost.

It keeps us small.

It keeps us quiet.

It keeps us from leading with power.

How the Body Reveals Hidden Leadership Patterns

This shift did not start with a thought. It started with sensation.

A tight chest.

A closed throat.

A rush of fear around being seen.

These were old protective patterns. They were not warning you of true danger. They were warning you of visibility. They were trying to keep you acting in ways that felt safe/accepted/approved of.

When you finally see and feel these parts fully, you start to understand something important:

The body was protecting you from rejection.

And that protection is holding back your leadership.

What Research Says About Likability and Leadership

When I looked at leadership research, everything made sense.

Here is what the evidence shows:

Likability is often overestimated as a leadership trait

Psychology Today notes that people think likability drives leadership more than it actually does.

But the evidence shows a different story.

1. Likability makes people feel comfortable, not committed

Research shows that likability can make people more open at first, but it does not create long‑term trust or follow‑through.

Comfort is not the same as leadership.

2. Real leadership depends on clarity, honesty, and follow‑through

Studies show that people trust leaders who are consistent, grounded, and clear.

Trust, not likability, is what makes people follow.

3. Leaders who focus on being liked often avoid truth

When leaders try to please everyone, they soften their message, avoid hard conversations, and hold back their real voice.

This lowers trust and weakens their impact.

4. The most effective leaders are trusted, not popular

Research shows that people follow leaders who are steady, courageous, and authentic.

Their influence comes from presence and integrity, not approval.

You do not need to be liked to lead…

Leadership is not about being liked.

Leadership is about being real, trusted, authentic, courageous.

The Shift From Snake to Lion in Your Leadership Identity

Every woman carries two inner forces that shape how she shows up in the world.

You may not call them archetypes, but you feel them in your body.

One part of you wants to stay safe.

One part of you wants to rise.

To understand your own leadership, it helps to see these two parts clearly.

The Snake: The Part That Stays Small

The Snake is the part of you that learned to survive by blending in.

It stays close to the ground.

It moves quietly.

It avoids attention.

The Snake is not wrong.

It is protective.

It is the part of you that learned to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and stay likable so you would not lose connection.

The Snake shows up when you:

• soften your voice

• hold back your truth

• avoid being seen

• fear upsetting others

• shrink to stay safe

The Snake is the part of you that believes likability is protection.

The Lion: The Part That Leads

The Lion is the part of you that knows who you are.

It stands tall.

It is visible.

It does not wait for approval.

The Lion leads by presence, not by pleasing.

It speaks with clarity.

It moves with courage.

It trusts its own voice.

The Lion shows up when you:

• say the thing you have been avoiding

• share your real message

• take up space

• let yourself be seen

• choose truth over approval

The Lion is the part of you that believes expression is power.

How You Can Use These Archetypes

These archetypes are not labels.

They are tools.

They help you understand what part of you is leading in any moment.

Here is how you can use them in your own life:

1. Notice when the Snake is in charge

Ask yourself:

Am I shrinking right now? Am I trying to be liked? Am I avoiding being seen?

If the answer is yes, the Snake is active.

This is not a failure.

It is information.

2. Ask what the Snake is trying to protect

The Snake always has a reason.

It wants safety. It wants belonging. It wants to avoid pain.

When you understand what it is protecting, you can choose a new response.

3. Invite the Lion forward

The Lion does not replace the Snake.

It leads with a different energy.

Ask yourself:

*If I trusted myself right now, what would I say?

*If I did not need approval, what would I do?

*If I let myself be seen, how would I show up?

These questions activate the Lion.

4. Let both parts work together

The goal is not to kill the Snake.

The goal is to let the Lion lead.

The Snake keeps you aware.

The Lion keeps you honest.

Together, they create grounded, embodied leadership.

Why This Matters for Your Leadership

Every woman reaches a moment where she must choose:

Stay small or rise.

This choice shapes your voice, your work, your impact, and your future.

It shapes how you lead, how you speak, and how you show up in your life.

When you understand these archetypes, you can see your patterns clearly.

You can feel your truth more deeply.

You can lead with more courage and less fear.

And you can step into the version of yourself that is ready to be seen.

New Beliefs That Support Real Leadership

• I do not need to be liked to be successful. I need to be expressed.

• Approval is not safety. Being in my body is safety.

• Leadership needs visibility, not perfection.

• Rejection is clarity/redirection/resonance sorting.

• I am not here to be popular. I am here to lead.

• My work is not for everyone. That is a strength.

• Honesty makes me magnetic.

• My nervous system can hold visibility.

• My next level needs courage, not agreement.

self-reflection FOR Women Who Are Ready to rise

Every woman who leads faces this choice: