By Lynnea Marie Gillingham
A few years ago I found myself in one of the worst places of my life…
I felt trapped in a cycle of addiction and toxic relationships.
Feeling disconnected from my purpose and truth had me spiraling.
I knew deep down I wasn’t living my best life.
And that haunted me.
I was stuck in a loop of repeating harmful patterns.
And I feared most of all waking up at 60 still trapped in a life I didn’t want.
But years ago when I first began studying NLP I realized that if I wanted to change, I had to be the change.
Drifting vs. Designing Your Life
Michael Hyatt once said:
“A lot of people go through life drifting, just going wherever the water goes.”
Let’s be honest, drifting is pretty easy.
You don’t have to paddle.
You can just float…
Letting your job, your family, society, or media steer your course.
But if you keep drifting, you might lose sight of the life you once dreamed of reaching.
You’ll look around and realize you’re lost in the middle of the ocean…
Far from where you wanted to be.
That was me.
Until one day, I was asked:
“If you could have anything, who would it be?”
And so, I let go of limitations and wrote down the version of myself I wanted to become.
That is the first step toward transformation.
The Empowerment Formula: From Effect to Cause
Most people live in effect. They let outside circumstances define their reality:
- “I’ll always be broke because my parents were.”
- “I’ll never heal from this addiction.”
- “I can’t have that life because…”
But what if you asked:
“How am I at cause for this?”
Please know, this isn’t about blame or fault.
It’s about reclaiming your power for healing and creating the life you dream of.
Being at cause means you have the ability to shift your reality.
It’s the most empowering question you can ask.
💡 Cause > Effect
- Results are better than reasons.
- Action is better than excuses.
*Healing begins when you believe you’re worthy of it.*
the Laws of the Universe
According to NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), our words don’t just describe our world: they determine it.
T. Harv Eker, in Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, compares your thoughts to a Word document. Your reality is the printout.
If you want to change the printout, you must first change the document.
The Law of Attraction echoes this: What you put out is what you attract back.
Poll: Are You Living at Cause or Effect?
Let’s reflect:
- Do you feel confident, capable, and aligned with your goals?
- Or do you feel stuck, helpless, and disconnected from your power?
Whether it’s a relationship, a job, an illness, or your business: you can change it.
You can create space for what you truly want.
Coaching with Compassion
If you’re a coach, remember:
You don’t get the results: your clients do.
Your role is to ask powerful questions, hold space, and reflect their worth back to them.
But they must take aligned action.
They must believe in their power to change.
And it is your job to guide them there.
To do that, ask your clients empowering breakthrough coaching questions like:
- “What would you need to believe to change this situation?”
- “What options or solutions are available to you right now?”
- “What resources do you have available to make this happen? (inner resources, like willingness)”
A REMINDER for Those in Pain
To anyone who’s experienced trauma, illness, or injustice, this message is especially for you.
I want you to know that the empowerment formula does not mean you are at blame.
The Empowerment Formula is not about invalidating your suffering.
It’s about reclaiming your power and your life.
It’s about choosing how you heal, how you respond, and how you move forward.
If you’re not ready yet, that’s okay.
This message will be here when you are.
I see you. I honor your story. And I believe in your strength even if you don’t believe in it yet.
Ready to Step Into Your Power?
If you’re ready to:
- Uplevel your self-worth
- Design the lifestyle you dream of
- Step into your higher self
- Create the life you want
Let’s create the transformation you deserve
Lynnea Marie Gillingham 